Life does not stop after divorce, it begins anew!
Let me begin by saying that this blog post is a bit of a rant and well, a bit off color. If the word f**k offends you, you may not want to continue reading. Initially, I wrote it with the word “shit” in place of “f**k”, but I think “f**k” says it better. Doesn’t it always?
This rant was written partly because of this political season that has me going bonkers with the amount of daily crap and lies we have to listen to, without being able to speak our truths. For speaking ones’ truth in this hostile political climate may dare I say, offend someone.
And, as a woman of a certain age, I believe I have reached, and also earned, this moment in my life when I can stop giving a f**k about what others think or say. If I offend you, it truly wasn’t my intention, but it is more about me saying what I need or want to.
If you are a woman, then most likely there was a time that you gave a f**k about what others thought about you, and how you were perceived. In fact, you still may. You may have also worried about speaking your mind for fear you may look bad in another’s eyes. You probably also worried about your looks and your clothing asking yourself: Am I showing too much cleavage, do I match perfectly, or is it too soon to wear white?
The old adage that says: With age comes wisdom, is very true and with wisdom, we realize that the only point of view that truly matters is our own. Sure we want to be loved and accepted, but we want those things by being who we really are, not a lower version of ourselves.
Most people (girls) grow up wanting to be liked and accepted, but chances are you know someone that has gone through life not giving a f**k and it showed in their words and actions. They had an innate confidence that they were IT! Didn’t you envy them? I mean the freedom to be able to just not give a f**k about what you say or what you do? How liberating would that be? Maybe that’s why so many people are drawn to Donald Trump? He doesn’t seem to give a f**k about what he says and furthermore, he does not care if you agree or not.
The point here is that most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving way too many f**ks in situations where f**ks do not deserve to be given. Going through my divorce I gave a f**k of what others thought of me ending my marriage. As if they had an understanding of the hell I lived through day in and day out. Yet, I still gave a f**k of how I acted around other parents and my married friends especially, not wanting any of the women to be threatened by my new “divorced” status. As if I would want their f**king husbands!!!
Herein lies the problem: When we give a f**k about most things, then we give way too many f**ks about everything.
The ability to reserve our f**ks for only the most f**kworthy of situations would make life a whole lot easier and less drama filled. For the drama in our lives is what we end up ruminating over, f**king over our psyches. What we don’t realize is that there is a fine art of non-f**k-giving. In fact, we’re born not giving any f**ks. Ever watch a little toddler cry his eyes out because his hat is the wrong shade of blue? Babies and kids do not care who they piss off with their crying and screaming, so, in essence, I’m saying that giving a f**k is a learned concept.
As we get older and mature into boys and girl, we realize that we have to give a f**k in order to make it in this world. Developing the ability to control and manage the f**ks you give is the core of our inner strengths and integrity. We must craft and hone our lack of f**kery over the course of years and decades. Like a fine wine, our f**ks must age into a fine vintage, only uncorked and given on the most special of f**king occasions.
This may sound easy, but it is not. Most of us, most of the time, get sucked in by life’s trivialities and its unimportant dramas; we live and die by the side notes and distractions and fluctuations that suck the f**k out of us.
So the moral of this rant is: Yes we still have to give a f**k about the people in our lives that we love and who love us in return, and we have to give a f**k about our jobs, but other than that I believe we should be free to not give a F**K whenever we want.
Okay, my f**king rant is over. Please carry on and feel free to add your own f**king rant in my comments.
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Has been writing most of her adult life on various topics important to women and children. If you are contemplating divorce, then you should check out her e-book.