Life does not stop after divorce, it begins anew!
Yesterday I was going though old pictures of me in my twenties. Other than the youth that can never be restored, I did not at all feel that I missed that period in my life. For back then, I was more concerned in pleasing others more than myself. Then when that phase wore off, I was more like “I am woman hear me roar.” Both of those mindsets, I am positive, were a big part of my poor decision making in prior relationships and marriages. Also, now that I am a woman of a certain age, I understand relationships more fluently, and men in particular.
Being an independent woman, especially a woman that is self-assured, educated, makes good money and confidently displays regularly that she does not NEED a man to survive can leave many a man feeling emasculated and the successful woman without a man. When women establish themselves without a man, they become more independent, buy homes, become financially savvy, and learn to fix things. They simply do not need a man, but many still want a man to share their life with. It can become a catch 22 because independent women are scary to many men, simply because men need to feel like they are men. Now hear me right, I am not saying that women should lessen who they are, or not be successful to fill a guy’s ego, but there are some things a woman can do that will let her have her cake and eat it too.
SO WHAT CAN WOMEN DO?
There is a definite balance between being NEEDY and making a man feel NEEDED.
How so you ask?
Well, I’m not saying that women have to go back a few centuries, but, they do need to take the blatant advertising of their independence down a notch. It’s so fabulously awesome that you have a great career, a gorgeous condo and a nice car. It’s wonderful that you’ve got your life in order. But, ladies, don’t make it obvious, don’t flaunt or make it “what you have to offer” to a man. I have seen it before, women who think they are great catches because they are financially and physically independent, but the only thing it does is scare men off or, even worse, attract the bums who want to mooch off them. Sound familiar? It’s reality.
Ladies, keep your financial and physical independence on the down low. A man isn’t stupid; he can see you’ve got your shit together. You don’t need to tell him. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by flaunting your independence. Trust me, if it’s a quality guy, it will only scare him away. But what you CAN do is this:
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Has been writing most of her adult life on various topics important to women and children. If you are contemplating divorce, then you should check out her e-book.