Life does not stop after divorce, it begins anew!
If you were wondering where winter was, well wonder no more. It has arrived with a vengeance! The blizzard of 2016 walloped more than two feet of snow on at least 11 states, and my aching arms and legs can attest that my area of New Jersey was hit hard.
I am not very good at just sitting around and being stuck with no way out. I like having the freedom and ability to go out whenever I feel like it, and with all the snowfall that befell us, there was no way that was going to happen without a lot of muscle.
As I watched the snow plummet at amazing speeds yesterday, I was reminded of a time five years ago when we were hit with a Nor’easter that smacked 26 inches upon us, the same amount as yesterday’s total. But that is where the similarity begins and ends. Five years ago I was in the middle of an excruciating divorce and we lived in the same house. Being in the same house for more than an hour at a time with him caused high stress and anxiety, but being stranded with no way out for two days was as close to hell as one can get.
I remember my daughter and I had played cards and games, while he hovered around watching us. He wanted to make me as uncomfortable as he could, which was one of his favorite pastimes that he perfected. He had never been into playing board games, instead he opted for mind games.
I shudder just thinking about that time and the many other times I wished I could be transported elsewhere. Anywhere where he wasn’t. It’s sad really that I wasted so much time wishing to be somewhere else.
As I sipped my wine that my boyfriend had brought over the previous weekend, I realized the parallels of the snowstorms and my prior marriage. The best analogy I can make of my 15-year marriage would be of a blizzard. As the snow begins to fall it looks nice, but then the winds pick up and there is the constant threat of losing power. The snow continues to fall gaining speed, and as you try to shovel your way out you realize it’s hopeless. No matter how fast you shovel you’re just running in place, since the snow is still falling. By daybreak the snow has stopped, and though you can see the end of the driveway, it is difficult to trudge through nearly three feet of packed snow with only the clothes on your back. You realize you are trapped and the only way out is to slowly and methodically dig yourself out of the mess created by the storm. Once you do, you can finally reach the road to freedom.
I am happy and relieved that although I was “trapped” inside during this blizzard, I felt more free and alive than ever before. Here's to your freedom as well! Cheers!
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Has been writing most of her adult life on various topics important to women and children. If you are contemplating divorce, then you should check out her e-book.