Life does not stop after divorce, it begins anew!
If you have ever been in a relationship, then you know that relationships are complicated. There are moments of pure joy, and then there are times when you question everything. Through the highs and lows, it’s hard to be certain whether or not you and your significant other are meant to be, or not. Sure, in every relationship, you need to be able to work through the “bad” together. But, when do you say enough is enough? At what point do you draw the line between rough times and simply just settling?
After every toxic relationship ends, many people say they wish they could have seen the signs. As a divorced person, I can promise you there are always signs. The problem is our “love can conquer all” glasses won’t let us see them until they are so blatantly obvious they create an avalanche.
So I came up with a little reminder of signs that might be pointing to the end of a relationship. But just remember, just as the glass is half full, the heart-breaking end of something is just the beginning to a fresh start and a new love.
You called me what?
Words hurt, and they hurt relationships. Name calling and hurtful words sting, leaving an indelible print on the relationship that no apology can truly wash away. It is hard to go back and respect that person you love after they called you horrible names. It will always leave the question of doubt in your mind of what’s around the corner.
Where’s the sex?
Sex is crucial in a happy and healthy relationship. And when sex isn’t on the table anymore (literally or not), it’s a sign something bigger is happening. It may be that you have both grown distant, emotionally and physically.
Where’s the trust?
You need to be able to trust your partner. Checking each other's phones, social media accounts, and emails is not the foundation of a healthy, trusting relationship. If your relationship is starting to look less like a romance novel and more like mystery book, then you might want to make a run for it.
When is bad is not good?
Sometimes being bad can be a good thing, especially in the bedroom, but when the bad outweighs the good in all things, there is likely a big problem. For instance, if you can’t even remember the last time you were happy, that would be bad. It may be that you are simply not compatible and it’s best to figure that out before you say “I do.”
Spend time together much?
When you’d rather spend a night out with friends every weekend instead of your partner, it’s apparent that there is an issue. If you are happy in your relationship, you will want to spend most of your time together — not the opposite. If you’re making excuses to not see your partner, then perhaps you need to re-examine why you haven’t ended things yet.
How much fighting is too much?
Arguing in a relationship comes with the territory. Each couple is bound to have everything from insignificant fights to explosive, can’t sleep for two-day fights. But when your relationship becomes like, “Wow! We made it a day without fighting,” you might need to take a look in the relationship mirror. If you even have trouble staying civil on vacations when you are in a beautiful hotel with room service, then it might be time to say goodbye.
Fantasizing of others?
It’s all fun and games until you can’t stop thinking about other men or women. In a happy and strong relationship, you should be thinking about your partner. When unhappiness starts to creep in, so do thoughts and fantasies about other people. This is maybe the point where attention from other men or women fills an emptiness you’re feeling from the relationship. Flirting on social media or drunkenly texting your ex, are clear signs that something is missing. It is normal to fantasize about other people, but when you are in a bad relationship it is easy to get to the point of no return.
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Has been writing most of her adult life on various topics important to women and children. If you are contemplating divorce, then you should check out her e-book.