Life does not stop after divorce, it begins anew!
Is it me, or does it seem like there are more and more narcissists in the world than ever before? Maybe it’s because we are breeding a generation of them with the hordes of reality shows today. Kanye and Kim quickly come to mind, but they are not alone in the narcissist kingdom.
Narcissists (N’s) seem to live in their own little world where they are king or queen of their domain and yours if you live with one. They are the ultimate rulers in their own little empire. If you are granted permission to enter, then you had better prove worthy over and over again.
If you live with an N, you should know that you can never be quite as good-looking or smart as they are, since they are truly the best at everything (according to them anyway), but you sure better try. After all, N’s have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, they believe they are special. They have an excessive need for admiration, have a sense of entitlement, take advantage of others to achieve their own ends, and are extremely arrogant, just to name a few of their endearing qualities. But most of all, they expect you to appear perfect so you don’t break the façade of perfection encased around them. Since the N is entitled to everything, because they are simply the best and the only real important one in the family, he or she is entitled to have his or her needs met immediately.
To be fair, I would say that everyone has a bit of narcissism in them, but true N’s are a whole different breed. But what if you are married to a narcissist? To say that your life will be difficult is an understatement. Having been married to an undiagnosed narcissist, I can attest they are difficult on the best of days and will do their personal best to make your life a living hell, even after you are divorced. You wouldn’t purposely marry a narcissist, but they are very good at trickery and manipulation.
Below are some traits to be on the lookout for. But just know if you are living with one, do not ever expect them to change, since you cannot tamper with perfection. You must either learn to live with it or leave. In case you are unsure, if you are involved or married to a narcissist, I’ve compiled a list of 20 traits.
1. They have a strong sense of entitlement.
2. Bides time before their true colors come shining through.
3. Takes more than they give. The man or woman who once happily gave you attention and care, has done a 180 and is now the constant taker.
4. They love to talk, especially about themselves.
5. They love social media and are constantly boasting of where they are and constantly taking selfies.
6. They have excessive reactions to everything and their behavior is unpredictable.
7. They are great manipulators.
8. Their needs are the most important and always come first.
9. God help those who do not agree with them.
10. They are always right.
11. They are superior, especially to their spouse.
12. They lack the empathy gene.
13. Exaggerates and lies all the time, even if there is no reason to.
14. They love to belittle. It helps them feel more superior.
15. A narcissist blames everyone else. It’s always the bosses fault, the lowly co-worker, the kids, and mostly your fault.
16. They are hyper-sensitive to criticism and get extremely angry when criticized and will attack back with their wordiness to the point of a high-level interrogation.
17. The narcissist must be recognized for every little thing they do, or like a toddler will have a temper tantrum.
18. They are mighty control freaks. Many people overuse the term “controlling” when referring to their spouses, because once you are knee deep in a relationship with a narcissist, controlling takes on a whole new dimension. He/she will not let up until your once loud voice is a mere whisper.
19. They must, must, must, get the final word!! In everything!
20. Not only do they not know they are narcissists, but if they read the signs above, they would think that you are the narcissist.
Sound like a great catch, right? If the guy or woman you are dating has many of these signs, then cut the cord and run for the hills. It won’t be easy getting rid of them, since they have to be the leavers, but do it. Living and or marrying this person will make your life a living hell. Trust me!
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Has been writing most of her adult life on various topics important to women and children. If you are contemplating divorce, then you should check out her e-book.