Life does not stop after divorce, it begins anew!
I have always believed that there is life after divorce. Even when I was in the thick of it and life couldn’t have been any more miserable, I had to believe in that premise or frankly I may not have gotten through it. But more than five years through it, I have survived and thrived.
During the past five years I went back to school and received my Master’s in Communication, strengthened the bonds with my children and reconnected with old friends. In essence, my life became enriched in so many ways I never thought possible.
In fact, another near impossible thought I once believed was that I would never get married again. I believed that perhaps marriage was just not the right fit for me. I also thought I may have been missing the marriage gene. And although I am still not married, I am officially engaged as of a few days ago. The man I have been involved with and have loved for several years asked me to be his wife. At first I felt shocked that he would want to be married again, since he is also divorced, but then the enormity of it elated me. For no matter how much many of us protest we would not want to ever be married again, marriage is truly the pinnacle of another’s love.
Think about it: a person you love and who loves you is willing to take vows to love and honor you before family, friends, and God. Yes, I know it’s been done before by both of us, but does that make it any less meaningful? I don’t think so! In fact, it makes it even more special that we know the pitfalls and horrors, yet we are still willing to dive in and seal the deal. And willing is the key here. Neither of us has to get married again to be fulfilled, we want to get married to be fulfilled together. I might mention here that we are unbelievably compatible and are each other’s best friends, something we did not have before.
I am not naïve here, and I am well aware of the dismal statistics of second and third marriages, however that said, when we do tie the knot, we will not have any of our children living with us, which is one of the main catalysts for the demise of second and third marriages.
What I think is important in moving forward is to bring a fresh outlook and positive energy into the relationship by not carrying around the negative baggage of the past. It is important to live and learn from past experiences and in turn grow from them. We have both grown tremendously and we are so happy to be committing ourselves to each other.
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