Life does not stop after divorce, it begins anew!
So this being my first post on this website, I thought it would be fitting for you to know a bit about me. I'm a tad over 50, divorced, and a writer for most of my life. I recently received my Master's in Communication and I truly believe that life does not stop after divorce, in fact I believe it only begins a new.
Throughout my life I have learned many lessons along the way, especially about DIVORCE. By divorce, I am not specifically talking about the legal preparation, though it is imperative to have qualified legal counsel, I am referring more to emotions (which can be a bit like riding on a roller-coaster). I will offer tips on everything from how to know it’s time to leave the marriage to dating again, and of course the ever present and presence of children.
Aside from learning many lessons throughout my marriage and then divorce, I realized that I was often wishing for something to change. For him to change, for me to change, for something to change. Yes, something had to change since our existence together was bad. Then one day as I was looking through the journal I had kept for years I realized I used the word "wish" quite often. Then I looked up the meaning.
Wishes, according to OxfordDictionaries.com, means to express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; a want that something cannot or probably will not happen.
Interesting definition, isn’t it? I didn’t realize when I was wishing for things in my life to change, that it probably would not happen. In fact, I believed it would, because I truly wanted it to.
We all make wishes to ourselves and we also share those wishes with those we love. Some of course do come true. We get that job we wanted and wished for. We buy the car we always wanted or the house with the beautiful front porch. Or, we are honored with marrying the man or woman of our dreams. That one person we believe is perfect for us in every way.
Yes, those are what wishes are made of, and of course some pixie dust. Truth be told, not all wishes are what they seemed to be after they are granted. Sometimes the dream job can turn into just a job, and the beautiful house we bought with our life savings can have leaks every time the rain hits it from the west. And, well, the man or woman we married can turn into a person we don’t really know at all. Such is what happened to me. I married someone who didn't turn out to be the man I thought he was. Our 16 years of marriage were fraught with much anger and anxiety.
Throughout this blog, you will find out more about me and my past marriage. Writing here for me helps put the past in the past, but it also helps those who are just figuring out what to do and how to move forward. Please know that at anytime you can reach out to me and I will get back to.
Knowing the definition of wishes helps to understand that with a wish, there is hope. I think we all intrinsically want the wish to come true, but the more integral part of the wish, or intangible part, is the feeling that is attached to it. That feeling without a doubt is hope. I remember some of those days daydreaming (or wishing) what I would do when I was no longer married to the Ex. Those daydreams kept me going, knowing someday I would be free of his emotional abuse and manipulation. I am happy to say that was five years ago, and I have never been happier!
I have also not given up on love, for I have been fortunate enough to have found someone that is a great fit for me.
So hold onto your hope and your wishes for now, they will help see you through. Until next time…
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